why understanding your emotional season changes everything
introducing the courage code (a reason for every season)
We can’t often pick and choose what season we’re in—even more so than the earth, if it had a say to stay in summer instead of shifting into fall. The leaves don’t ask permission before they change. The ground doesn’t negotiate before it freezes. Winter comes whether we’re ready or not.
And yet, we spend so much of our lives resisting the season we’re in. Fighting the cold when we should be resting. Rushing spring when we’re still meant to be gathering. Trying to force growth in a season designed for grounding.
It’s our job to not resist the season we’re in but to embrace it with empathy, self-compassion, and understanding.
THIS PART: You can’t embrace what you don’t recognize. You can’t honor a season you haven’t learned to name.
the generational wealth nobody talks about
There’s something about those feelings—feelings are so powerful and loaded. I know that some view generational wealth as financial safety nets, but I’d argue that it’s almost more importantly emotional. The passing of the torch of emotional intelligence, techniques, tips, and overall space to become familiar with your own soul under care.
I wasn’t given that luxury in either capacity.
I spent a long time swatting away emotions like pests instead of sitting with them. I didn’t learn to be curious about what I felt. I didn’t know how to ask “why does this hurt?” or “what is this anger trying to tell me?” In my childhood environment, consistency was valued over authenticity. If I could be quiet and stay out of the way, I was a good child.
None of that emotional stuff was welcome. If feelings were shown, they were punished. So I became emotionless. Disassociated from those feelings but also disconnected from what made me me.
I learned to survive by numbing. By pretending I didn’t feel what I felt. By moving through life like a ghost in my own body, present but not really there.
And then one day, years later, I realized: I had no idea who I actually was underneath all that silence.
why encouragement without understanding doesn’t work
Here’s what I’ve learned building The Encouragist: Emotional understanding is the depth of encouragement, and strategy is the width.
It’s not enough to glance over your emotional state as if it doesn’t matter. You can read all the motivational quotes you want, listen to all the pep talks, follow all the frameworks—but if you don’t understand the emotional season you’re in, none of it sticks.
It’s also not good enough to enact strategy and wonder why it doesn’t work when emotional understanding is the glue that makes everything hold together.
You can’t apply “just do it” energy when you’re in a season of grief. You can’t rest in grace when your soul is screaming to move. You can’t gather courage when your body is already in motion and needs grounding.
The strategy only works when it matches the season. And you can only match the season when you learn to recognize which one you’re in.
introducing the courage code
So I’ve come up with a way for you to understand your emotions, unpack them, and curate that understanding into gentle introspection. It’s simple, based on seasons, and I hope it will help you learn yourself in a deep yet delightful way.
I call it The Courage Code—five emotional seasons we cycle through, each requiring its own unique courage to navigate toward the life we’re meant to live.
Not phases you graduate from. Not levels you unlock. Seasons. Each one necessary, each one purposeful, each one demanding a different kind of bravery.
Courage isn’t one-size-fits-all. The courage you need when you’re gathering strength looks completely different from the courage you need when you’re holding ground. The courage to move forward isn’t the same as the courage to stay still. The courage to trust the process fights different battles than the courage to sit with your grief.
The Courage Code helps you identify which season you’re in so you can access the specific courage, mindset, and strategies that will help you not just survive that season, but actually use it. To let that season do its work in you instead of fighting against it. To embrace its benefits instead of only seeing its hardships.
Each season has its own wisdom. Each season builds something essential. And each season requires you to be brave in a way you’ve never had to be brave before.
🌱 GATHER
the season of collecting courage before the move
Spring energy — when you’re preparing, learning, building up the strength to take the next step. You’re gathering resources, evidence, support, and most importantly, the courage you’ll need to move.
You’re in GATHER when:
You’re researching, planning, preparing but not yet acting
You feel like you need more confirmation before you’re ready
Everyone else seems to be moving while you’re still “getting ready”
The feelings you’re constantly battling: Fear that you’re procrastinating. Shame about not being ready. Guilt about everyone else moving while you’re still gathering. The nagging voice that says you’re making excuses.
What you need in this season: Permission to build foundation without apology. Understanding that gathering isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. This season teaches you to trust your pace and honor your process. That some things can’t be rushed, that foundation matters.
The unique courage of GATHER: The courage to prepare when everyone says “just start.” The courage to take your time when the world demands speed. The courage to trust that your season of preparation has purpose, even when it feels like everyone else is already winning.
🚀 GO
the season of movement and momentum
Summer energy — active, urgent, moving. You’re ready to act but might feel stuck or frustrated. You have the energy to go but might not have clarity on the direction yet. You’re done preparing and your body is screaming to move.
You’re in GO when:
You want to move but feel paralyzed
You’re taking action but it feels scattered
You have energy but lack focus or clear direction
Every door you try seems locked or the wrong one
The feelings you’re constantly battling: Frustration with feeling stuck when you’re “ready.” Confusion about which direction to move. Impatience with how long everything takes. Shame about having energy but no results to show for it.
What you need in this season: Clear direction over empty motivation. Permission to start imperfectly. Strategy that channels your energy productively instead of letting it spin out. This season teaches you that action without strategy is just motion. That sometimes the obstacle IS the way.
The unique courage of GO: The courage to take imperfect action when you don’t have all the answers. The courage to try even when you might fail. The courage to pivot when your first direction doesn’t work. The courage to keep moving when results are slow.
⛰️ GROUND
the season of holding steady
Late summer energy — when you’re maintaining your position while everything around you shifts. You’re the steady one, the strong one, the one everyone leans on. But you’re tired of being the rock and nobody’s checking if the rock needs support.
You’re in GROUND when:
You’re holding things together while others advance past you
You’re being strong for everyone else but crumbling inside
Everyone depends on you but nobody asks if you’re okay
You’re standing firm while feeling completely alone in your strength
The feelings you’re constantly battling: Resentment toward people who get to “just leave” situations you have to stay in. Exhaustion from being everyone’s anchor with no anchor of your own. Loneliness even when surrounded by people. Guilt when you want to quit because “people are counting on you.”
What you need in this season: Recognition that holding ground is as valuable as gaining ground. Permission to receive support instead of only giving it. This season teaches you that stability isn’t stagnation. That sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stay when everyone else runs.
The unique courage of GROUND: The courage to stay when leaving would be easier. The courage to hold steady when everything in you wants to run. The courage to be the strong one when you desperately need someone to be strong for you.
🕊️ GRACE
the season of surrender and trust
Autumn energy — releasing, letting go, trusting the process even when you can’t see the outcome. You’re learning to hold your dreams with open hands. To believe God’s timing is better than your timeline.
You’re in GRACE when:
You’re learning to trust your timing instead of forcing it
You’re releasing control while staying engaged
You’re choosing faith over forcing
You’ve stopped fighting and started flowing
The feelings you’re constantly battling: Fear that “letting go” means giving up. Worry that trusting God’s timing means nothing will happen. Doubt about whether your surrender is faith or resignation. Pressure from others who think you should be “doing more.”
What you need in this season: Affirmation that surrender isn’t giving up—it’s strategic positioning. Permission to rest without guilt. This season teaches you that not everything requires your effort. That there’s power in open hands and peace in released expectations.
The unique courage of GRACE: The courage to surrender when everything in you wants to control. The courage to trust when you can’t see the path. The courage to rest when others are running. The courage to believe in divine timing when your own timeline is screaming.
🔥 GRIEF
the season of raw, unfiltered feeling
Winter energy — cold, harsh, real, unrelenting. You’re angry, sad, tired, and done pretending you’re okay. You’re mourning the timeline that didn’t happen, the version of yourself you thought you’d be by now. And you’re tired of people telling you to “look on the bright side.”
You’re in GRIEF when:
You’re angry at God, at life, at yourself, at everyone who “made it”
You hate where you are and you’re exhausted from pretending you don’t
You’re mourning what you thought your life would be by now
You want to scream at anyone who says “everything happens for a reason”
The feelings you’re constantly battling: Rage at how unfair your situation feels. Deep sadness that won’t lift. Bitterness toward people whose prayers got answered when yours didn’t. Shame about having these “ungrateful” feelings. Guilt about being angry at God.
What you need in this season: Permission to feel without fixing it immediately. Space to be angry without shame. Acknowledgment that your pain doesn’t need to be pretty or packaged. This season teaches you that grief is love with nowhere to go. That anger at God doesn’t disqualify you from His love.
The unique courage of GRIEF: The courage to feel everything when it would be easier to feel nothing. The courage to be honest about your anger instead of performing faith you don’t feel. The courage to let yourself break without fearing you’ll never be whole again.
how the courage code works
Starting next week, every post I write will include a Courage Code breakdown and you’ll choose which season you’re in.
Not which one you want to be in. Not which one sounds most spiritual or mature. But which one you’re actually in right now, today, in this moment.
You can’t access the courage you need if you won’t acknowledge the season you’re in. You can’t honor what you won’t name.
And once you name it? Once you recognize which season you’re in and what unique courage it requires? Everything changes.
The encouragement that felt empty suddenly feels personal. The strategy that didn’t stick suddenly makes sense. The guilt about where you are finally lifts because you understand—this is just your season. And seasons change. And every season has its purpose. And every season requires its own kind of bravery.
what this means for you
Every week, you’ll get my signature things and then, you’ll get to choose your path based on your season.
EVENTUALLY…Free subscribers will get the main encouragement and see the five seasons. Paid subscribers will get personalized guidance for exactly where they are—specific encouragement, strategic tools, and compassionate truth tailored to their exact emotional season and the unique courage it requires.
Because emotional understanding is the depth of encouragement, and strategy is the width. And courage is what ties them together.
And you deserve all three.
In my next post, we’re diving into “the miseducation of letting go” and you’ll get to see The Courage Code in action.
For now, I want you to ask yourself: Which season am I in right now?
Not where you think you should be. Where you actually are.
🌱 GATHER — collecting courage before the move
🚀 GO — wanting movement but feeling stuck
⛰️ GROUND — holding steady while everything shifts
🕊️ GRACE — learning to trust the process
🔥 GRIEF — angry and tired of pretending
There’s a reason for every season. There’s courage for every season. And there’s a path forward from wherever you are.
Welcome to The Courage Code. I’m so glad you’re here.
Signed,
Your Encouragist